Week three has begun. In some ways, how the hell is it already week three, but mostly, how is it ONLY week three?!! I feel like I've been here for months. Not in a bad way. I think it's something that happens when everything in your life feels fresh and exciting. No complaints.
I am terrible at making myself go to sleep or do homework before the last minute here, so I guess some things never change no matter where you are. Things that have changed - I'm shy? Not with the Americans on my program or my professors, but with my host family. It's incredibly frustrating and kind of makes me feel perpetually like a jerk. Having to think of things to say but also concentrate on simplifying them and ALSO having to concentrate on speaking slowly (as I talk too quickly for a lot of native English speakers) sort of blocks up my usual tendency for word vomit. At first I was afraid that I was a subconscious xenophobe. Like, maybe I was shy because I had an inherent distrust of anyone not American. Than I decided that that isn't really my deal since this family is made up of the nicest people ever. I just think living in someone's house is a really specific, new experience, and it freaks me out a little. I want to be a good guest but I inherently kind of suck because I'm forcing them to speak English all the time. Anyways, today I decided to be done with the guilt. I also have sort of unofficially taken over the dishes as my job (which comes pretty naturally because, full disclosure, that was really the only chore I've ever had to do anyways. Sorry, Mom. You've been outed. Now everyone knows the root of my lack of work ethic). My host mom was ridiculous grateful and I just wanted to be like STOP. You have two very small children but you still do my laundry (yes. seriously. I didn't realize it was happening. I am spoiled. Guiltguiltguilt. Sidenote, line-dried clothes? Smell great.) and make me a lunch (again, I tell her she doesn't have to but she does!) so please just let me clean up your kitchen after you cook dinner and while you put your kids to sleep. Seriously. And just like every night putting the dishes away goes more smoothly as I am more and more comfortable knowing where things go, I think I will feel more comfortable knowing where I fit in this house with time. Truthfully, I've only been in their home about 9 days. I just like when things come easily to me and when they don't it makes me uneasy/want to run away. See: AP calculus (the class I dropped after two days).
Otherwise, things are still great. 14 people in a group is a strange number, and I've been trying to spend time with everyone because I would like for us not to settle into two set social groups, which I can sort of already see happening. Not in a bad way, just in a natural, human way.
I can't remember if I've already written this on here, but let me just reiterate: learning about WWII from a Czech perspective is SO FASCINATING. It just makes you realize how varied the whole concepts of "nationalism" and "patriotism" are; I think of those words in such an American context (I mean, duh, I'm American, but you know). The national discourse here has nothing to do with heroism or epic battles. That's just not written into their history like it is into ours. "The Good Soldier Svejk" (that has a funny canoe letter in it but I'm too lazy to copy and paste one at the moment) is one of their national figureheads and his whole deal was lying low and doing what it took to stay alive. That sort of character just does not have a place in a line-up of American icons, you know? Martyrdom is valued, but not violent triumphs. I don't know how much sense this is making, but I find it very interesting. There is also a lot less fudging of the facts in their textbooks. While I think Americans also have a lot more dirt to want to conceal in American History classes than Czechs do (in a much shorter timespan. Whoops. Our bad.) what dirt they have they seem to own up to. While there is some posturing and scapegoating ("yes, we did run out the jews that were left after World War II, but it's because of Germans, I swear") they still admit that it took place. There is no Czech equivalent of our portrayal of teaching children that the first Thanksgiving involved hugging Indians and sharing our cranberry sauce, as far as I'm aware.
Another interesting cultural thing: RACISM AND XENOPHOBIA ARE ALIVE AND WELL. In some ways, I occasionally find the lack of political correctness refreshing. I get really fed up with it, especially going to a private liberal arts college. But this also makes me have a new found appreciation for it, since I do think I'd rather live somewhere where it is not socially acceptable to make sweeping negative statements about black people, Russians, Romas, etc. I also think - to devil's advocate myself - there is something to be said for people being aware of their biases as opposed to crushing them beneath the social demand for not offending anyone. Though, is it really better to be aware of your biases if you think your biases are factual? I guess there's probably a middle ground somewhere. I bet it's in Canada. I heard it's great there.
Lastly, I discovered today that not only is there a Czech Art Therapy association (that part I knew)but that one village over from me is an art therapy studio in a school for disabled children. I'm DEFINITELY going to email them and see if I can do my independent study there. I think comparing my slightly minimal knowledge of American AT to the Czech version would be amazing, and since what I'd actually like to do is work with autistic children it would be good for my soul/my brain/my resume. And I figure it will all be easy after trying it with kids who don't speak the same language as me? Anyways, I figure places like that probably like volunteers, right? We'll see.
Other things: my host parents gave me apple wine. It was homemade. From their apple tree. In the garden. what.
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