kapitola první: ten kluk žil.

I have many things to say, but the most important issue at hand is THIS:

I am not messing around. This is serious business.

GUESS WHOSE HOST MOM BOUGHT THEM HARRY POTTER IN CZECH? This guy. No joke. I can tell you all about pan a paní Dursleyoví. Things that are strange: they changed the name of the street from Privet Drive. Things that are embarrassing: how many of the words I can figure out just because I have read this book more times than most priests have read the bible. Things that make me laugh: J.K. Rowlingová.

In other (non-HP-related) news, I am about to, yet again, be out of commission for about a week and a half. Thursday morning, the crew is rolling out to Krakow, Slovakia, and then possibly Berlin? Or possibly Vienna? The last leg is yet to be determined. Slovakia includes an open air hiking museum. As in, a museum that takes place on a hike. WHAT??! I can't wait.

I am painfully exhausted, so a quick update in list form, so that I don't come back from traveling too overwhelmed with lack of updates to even come near this blog again:

1. My friend Jessica came to visit, and it was really nice seeing a person who I have known for longer than a month-ish! It also made me realize that hosting people while here is REALLY hard. It would have been really nice to have had more time to show her things and do some tourist-y stuff but it just wasn't possible.
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3. Saturday, I went to this art workshop. I was supposed to go with people, but ended up being the only person I knew that showed up. It was weird to be somewhere like that alone at first, but ended up being sort of nice. I just like being able to say that I independently attended an art workshop in Prague. The man leading it is a Bulgarian artist whose work was like the winner of the conceptual contest at the conceptual parade in Conceptual City (just like, according to what I've seen, ALL OF THE MODERN ART east of New York). I am not kidding. I am glad to have been seeing so much art while I am here, and meeting so many artists, but sometimes they ask for questions and i just want to raise my hand and say "I'm sorry, WHAT??!" Some gems have included (and this is certainly not an extensive list):

• A braided wig on a ladder.
• A pile of dirt on the ground. That my friend Grace may have accidentally put her coat on.
• A glass of water. In a red cup. I'm sure the symbolism was abundant if you've read Hegel or something.
• A canvass with some hard candies spit onto it ("The candies were once inside of my mouth and now they are the art. From inside me to the page." For sure.)
• An "imaginary invisible piece that does not exist in our experience" (I mean, really? I just made one hundred of those. They're in this gallery as well. May I have a paycheck too?)
• "This is me, in front of tree. We are same width." Neat photo project.
• My personal favorite: an artist told us he made a film from "memories of his own childhood". The next fifteen minutes of my life involved me staring, in horror, with my mouth open, as some marionettes took their time wrapping a bloody dog's head in toilet paper. Background music? No, none of that, but plenty of sounds of creaking floor boards. SIR, WHAT WAS YOUR CHILDHOOD LIKE?

Anyways, clearly I am not nearly smart enough to understand modern European conceptual art. HOWEVER, the art workshop was cool, because it ended with this sweet found-object drum circle with Naomi and like ten Czech artists. I made a percussion instrument out of some tape with this girl who spoke no English. It was great/bizarre. I also met the weirdest man ever. He asked me if I was a member of the "coalition of lost souls," (the Czech chapter of which he is apparently the leader) and refused to let me tell him his name because he "HATES NAMES!". Everything normal.

3. I have been speaking/understanding some Czech with the host sibling babies! It was all fun and games until the 3 year old boy referred to me as "a mom". I also asked the 22 month old girl, "máš ráda ty dort?" which I'm fairly certain directly translates to "You like you cake?". Her response was unintelligible (to me), but I'm assuming it was something along the lines of either "YES!" or "learn some grammar or head back to America, idiot."


4. Cultural observation: Czech people sure do like to stare. Our Czech teacher told us that it was just a Czech thing, but I have to admit that it makes me incredibly self-conscious. A lot of girls like to do the once-over on the tram. It makes me think my clothes must look dumb here. Which makes me want to reply, seriously? Come to America and I will be your personal shopper. Czech clothes are less than attractive. Whoops, cultural insensitivity. But seriously. They don't have fashion WEEK. They have fashion weekEND. And here is one example from the website:

Just sayin', don't judge my lace up boots.

Lastly, some people reading this may remember how excited I was for winter and cold? That was silly. No, honestly, Prague is incredibly beautiful in the rain and does a lovely job in aiding my playing pretend that I am a princess all the time. I just probably should have brought more jeans and fewer sun dresses. Old habits die hard.